Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
you didnt know i had herpes?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
This toilet bowl is my home.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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