I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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