you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
