Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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