Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
