also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
