Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
