I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
