I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Randomize
