if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
