god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
