So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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