Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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