I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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