Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
