I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize