I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Randomize
