I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
