That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize