we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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