one word: firstdatebathroomanal
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Randomize