he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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