He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
You were trust falling into bushes
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
