you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
