Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
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