Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
