I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Randomize
