A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
operation have a gay friend backfired
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize