started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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