Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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