I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
