Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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