Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
