32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
