So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
