Sry I called you an 8
Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
