I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
