In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
