it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
