Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
