I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
