he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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