You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
