Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
