The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
