She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
