It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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