I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
