No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
