Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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