Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I am in a vortex of obligation.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
