well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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