idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
