they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
im six kinds of drunk right now
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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