At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
