i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
