Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Randomize
