Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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