I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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