2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
