He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
