Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
