playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
