I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
