Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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