I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
