Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
